Fri. Jan 24th, 2020

Conservative Ladies Let’m RIP!

Skunk-breath How one might avoid becoming a dreaded Progressive Anarchist

How one might avoid becoming a dreaded Progressive Anarchist

I saw a story recently about farts being misogynist, Ashleigh Ingle a proud feminist and an anarchist ludicrously said that if a man farts louder than a woman then that would be rape. WHAT, RAPED BY A FART?

Thewaterpipe posted an article referencing women gathered at the University of Toronto to discuss if human flatulence could be sexist.

So now you know this story arose due to some dumb ass Progressive Democrat left wing Anarchist with too much time on her hands.

So science has worked feverishly to determine what causes these women to lose their minds.

It’s all about Farts.

Yes that right, Farts. The bad news for FART holders we learn from Australia, is that holding in a fart may cause extreme leftism.

Have you ever held in a fart to save face? Chances are, if you’re honest, the answer to that question is a yes.

But, what you’re about to read might make you think twice the next time you feel that build up of gas.

Because holding a fart in won’t just leave you feeling uncomfortable — it could end up in you spewing the fart out your mouth instead.

That’s according to Professor Clare Collins, a nutrition and dietetics expert at the University of Newcastle.

Writing for The Conversation, she said holding in your trapped wind could cause abdominal distension, “with some gas reabsorbed into the circulation and exhaled in your breath” in other words from your mouth.

“Holding on too long means the build-up of intestinal gas will eventually escape via an uncontrollable fart,”

So now you know why Leftist Democrats have sh*t for brains and their breath smells like something crawled up their asses and died?

Aside from “skunk-breath”, there are other signs to look for, such as ridiculous theories (new green deal) or nonsensical ideas (free college for all) or constant vilification of any person that disagrees with them (Donald Trump) and the automatic use of ‘ists’ i.e. racist, sexist, fascist, mysoginist, socialist -oops!

No wonder little boys are less likely to become Leftists. They grow up learning to let those farts go, even creating games like “Pull my finger!” but I am doubting very much that Crying Chuck Schumer, Pencil Neck Schiff, Clumsy Cummings, and Puffy Nadler ever learned to play these games.

Also, what legitimate young man hasn’t let one loose in the elevator or applied a “Dutch oven” to his girlfriend while in bed? or enjoyed watching the bubbles form in the bathtub water.

WOW, who knew farting generously prevented “sh*t-for-brains” syndrome?! If there was anything that showcased a man’s world, it’s farting the new misogynist form of rape.

Women “toot”, as they are taught it’s unladylike to fart. So clearly women need to fart more to avoid the #1 terror threat to the world: Leftism. Farting very well could be a matter of national security and pride. This could even become an Olympic sport “Like a women’s synchronized farting team”.

No more Leftists!

So when you hear spewing from the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, Nancy Pelosi and Crazy Maxine Waters keep your distance. Getting inside of that verbal blast zone could send you to the emergency room.

There are least a few things you can do,

Always keep an ample supply of body spray and mints on hand in case you’re likely to run into a Leftist who can’t keep her verbal sh*thole quiet. at the opportune time, give the area a good spray or toss one of those mints right in their mouth.